This photo is perfect. I love everything and everyone in it: Emma Watson; Alexander McQueen; the red, luscious cape from the Girl Who Lived In The Tree collection; rows upon rows of books; the magic. I love this. I. Love. This.
This photo is perfect. I love everything and everyone in it: Emma Watson; Alexander McQueen; the red, luscious cape from the Girl Who Lived In The Tree collection; rows upon rows of books; the magic. I love this. I. Love. This.
One of the biggest arguments I see is how Lolita panders to a “male audience” and subjugates women by turning them into dolls. I find this ridiculous on several grounds:
1) Self-Expression: Part of being a feminist is believing that it’s a woman’s right to do whatever she wants provided that she doesn’t infringe upon the rights of others in the process. To me, that would include being able to wear whatever she wants. So, if you wanna wear short shorts and a bikini top, I think you should be able to. Sadly, there’s a lot of places you can’t dress like that because, to be honest, you’ll get raped. The same can be said about lolita. I feel that lolita’s are HUGE feminists in the since that they chose to go AGAINST SOCIAL NORMS and wear what they want REGARDLESS OF SOCIAL RESPONSE! (Suffragists wore pants during a time when women would be STONED for being “immodest/immoral” and not wearing a skirt.)
2) Acceptance: Lolita at it’s core fights against negative images depicted in the media and the fashion industry that attempt to tell girls that the only way they’ll succeed in life is if they’re tall and skinny or have huge boobs or a big butt, etc. Lolitas come in every race, shape, size, color, and creed.
3) Education: The sexualization of lolita fashion is purely in the eyes of the viewer. I’ve had numerous men that have told me that they’d construe a girl in lolita fashion as someone “wanting sexual attention.” This says a lot about the men in our generation as it shows that they’re basically into “fucking little girls” because lolita is predominately about dressing and acting like a little girl. I have no idea when it became acceptable to sexualize children, but I’ll let “To Catch A Predator” handle that one.
(FYI: Lolita doesn’t directly have anything to do with the Nabokov book of the same name.)
Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
“I just love seeing Muslim Lolitas with headscarves! It shows two great freedoms: The freedom of choosing and showing their religion AND the freedom to choose whatever they want to wear despite society-opinions. Also if combined right it can look really beautiful but still keep the modesty required for both, the style and their beliefs. Keep on, Muslim Lolitas, you are amazing!”
Veronica Elisse JSK
I’m seeing the same style of hemline in all the dresses coming out. A ruffle along the entire hem, and then a longer ruffle below it.
That was one thing that made me sad when I was working for Disneyland. I never got to do a lolita meet-up in the park.
This is SOOOOO true! It’s hard to explain to beginning loli’s sometimes that something can be a part of multiple subsets.
I actually had the reverse of this happen at a meet-up in Atlanta. Fortunately, I knew really nice lolitas from a meet-up at a con in New Jersey. Their positive attitude and desire to help others helped me to continue to grow my lolita knowledge and background to the loli I am today. (I <3 you Jezeroth!)
I would like to share the story of the first time I wore Lolita in public, and one of the things that inspired me to start my blog, Lolita Tips, here on tumblr, and to do my best to help beginner Lolitas become the best they can be.
If I remember correctly it was the…
